"Bravely overcoming one small fear gives you the courage to take on the next. It takes courage to become happy - courage to remain true to one's convictions, courage not to be defeated by one's weaknesses and negativity, courage to take swift action to help those who are suffering." - Daisaku Ikeda
I have had a fear of travel since I was a child. My bedroom was safe. Anywhere else was scary. When I was 12 years old, my parents convinced me to attend a sleepover camp. I couldn't enjoy the daytime activities because I was so anxious about having to sleep in a strange bed surrounded by other kids. Sure enough, I lay there all night without sleeping. I had my older sister pick me up the next morning.
This anxiety (and depression) carried through to the early years of my marriage. I am still filled with wonder that MVO stayed with me as I struggled with being able to take family vacations. Fortunately, I slowly began to challenge my reluctance to expand my horizons. But now in 2024, I'm still working on my tendency to avoid traveling.
According to Psychology Today, "Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger - if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them."
My SGI youth activities were a perfect proving ground for overcoming my childhood fears. I could test my ability to function in new environments without worrying about being judged by others. I spent my twenties marching in the Brass Band, watching over our Buddhist Centers and traveling to different cities as a young men's leader. My daily chanting helped me begin to overcome the internal demons that had prevented me from enjoying new experiences.
Our three-week trip to Spain two years ago was another conspicuous benefit of doing this human revolution. I truly had a wonderful experience. I looked forward to each day without trepidation. I wasn't even afraid when I drove on narrow winding roads to get to a picturesque village on the Mediterranean Sea.
Another aspect of our life that has impacted our ability to travel is the fatigue MVO experiences from her MS. For instance, she needs to rest for a few weeks after we visit our grandchildren on the east coast. On a trip to Italy with our daughters over twenty years ago, MVO didn't yet know how to accommodate her MS and ended up collapsing in the street while experiencing anxiety and extreme fatigue.
So, we determined not to let her MS or my fear prevent us from taking our "bucket list" trip to Spain. This time I respected her boundaries by not being overly protective and she used self-awareness in choosing our excursions. We created the perfect vacation experience for ourselves, thoroughly enjoying the amazing Spanish museums, food and people.
I would like to encourage anyone who is struggling with fear to persevere. I have found these words of Nichiren to always be true: "Though one might point at the earth and miss it, though one might bind up the sky, though the tides might cease to ebb and flow and the sun rises in the west, it could never come about that the prayers of the practitioner of the Lotus Sutra would go unanswered."