"When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school it's a wonder I can think at all." - from the song Kodachrome by Paul Simon
Growing up, I was taught that my self-worth would be measured by my intellectual prowess, musical success and financial acumen. Unfortunately, as a young adult I believed I was sorely lacking in all three areas. I almost set a record for most times on academic probation at U.C.L.A., played piano in an unheard-of soul group, and lived in the back of my Volkswagen bug. Fortunately, MVO loved me for who I was inside. But I had a difficult time internalizing that concept.
My Buddhist studies explained in no uncertain terms that each human being, including me, was worthy of respect regardless of their accomplishments. Still, I wanted to prove to both our parents and myself that I was not a failure.
Of course, there isn't anything wrong with pursuing advancement at work or the respect of others. Where it gets tricky is when those human desires lack a deeper sense of purpose.
I spent my entire career in the aerospace and information technology field. As a practicing Buddhist, I tried my best to apply my inner wisdom and compassion to my work life. However, whenever I became too obsessed with being promoted, I would lose my focus and sense of appreciation for life.
In Buddhism Day by Day, Daisaku Ikeda writes, "It is important to remember that your worth as a person is not based on your profession. It is not based on wealth, fame or academic credentials. What counts is how hard you have striven in your chosen path, how much good you have accomplished, how earnestly you have devoted your energies to it. It is your spirit of devotion, your sincerity that determines your true worth."
Eventually, through chanting and much human revolution, I became an industry executive. I learned that life's challenges continued regardless of my position. Getting promoted was a nice treasure of the storehouse but not the source of lasting happiness or treasure of the heart. That had to come from within.
I came to realize that my real strength and passion was strategic planning and coaching others as opposed to chasing new business. So, in 1999 I took a leap of faith and started my own independent consulting company. I advised several hundred corporate and government managers until my retirement in 2016. It was a tremendously rewarding 17 years. Looking back, I'm so grateful for the encouragement I received from fellow Buddhists to chant and take action and to MVO for her continuous support (and amazing editing skills)!