"I feel that "treasures of the heart" are the greatest possible gift from parents to their children." - Daisaku Ikeda
I didn't realize as a child that my father was a broken man. Children rarely do. But sons and daughters are greatly impacted by the words, thoughts and deeds of their parents. His harmful actions (and my mother's inaction) affected our entire family. There were definitely too few treasures of the heart.
“The process of changing poison into medicine begins when we approach difficult experiences as an opportunity to reflect on ourselves and to strengthen and develop our courage and compassion. The more we are able to do this, the more we are able to grow in vitality and wisdom and realize a truly expansive state of life." - June 2002 SGI Quarterly.
We all make choices -- some more difficult than others. I have tried to forgive my parents for their unhealthy choices and the actions that harmed me. Especially because thanks to them, I am here! The determination to be a better husband, father and now grandfather as well as a desire to be happy have fueled my spiritual journey since I was 19 years old.
A positive attitude wasn't something that came naturally to me. Fortunately, at its heart, Buddhism is an optimistic philosophy. So, every time my wife and I have faced a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, we've been able to rekindle our hope by remaining in the orbit of our Buddhist community.
There were times as a very young husband that I felt the undertow of my father's legacy. I had a visceral desire to run far away from my problems. But my awareness of the law of cause and effect served as a constant reminder that I was not broken; that buried under my childhood angst and confusion was an enlightened nature that could (and would) enable me to be a loving and committed partner.
Faced with the litany of challenges encountered by all parents -- childhood illnesses, temper tantrums, friend problems -- my wife and I repeatedly sat down to pray for the wisdom to make the best decisions for our daughters. I'm so grateful they believe they had a magical and nourishing childhood. And now my older daughter is doing the same with her children.
The younger me thought I didn't have what it takes to be happy. But now I know that I can overcome any hardship and experience tremendous joy in my life. This confidence is my greatest benefit.
Can't ask for more than that!